Our First Date

Robert and I went on a date last night, our first since MZ joined our world. We left her with Grandma S. and went out for a drink at Bliss, and dinner at Firefly, repeating our date of the night before she was born. Except this time I could have a cocktail, and wine with dinner, and raw-milk cheese.

We managed to do more than just talk about Miraculous Miriam, but being at Firefly, at a banquette table adjacent to where we sat last time, it was impossible not to, and in fact wonderful to compare that night to where we are now.

Parenting MZ is truly the most amazing thing we've ever done. Maybe because we waited so long and crammed so many experiences into our time before MZ, and maybe because of what it took to get to her, but we feel grateful, relief beyond imagine, happiness unadulterated with nameless fear, utterly blessed. Sure we worry, but this stuff is easy compared with the constant dread of the great unknown, the potential depth of that well of loss.

We talked about how we don't mind that this is our first night without her, 6+ months after her birth. How watching her grow and develop is like the greatest cultural or historical site, like Angkor Wat without the biting monkeys, Rajasthan without the runs.

Mind you, we can't wait to get her with us to Thailand or Mexico or even Europe (let's not start with India), but this period of our lives is a Big Trip of its own, sans the antimalarials but with all the thrills and a whole lot more laughter.


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